For most of my life, I had the same cycle. I'd start a new routine, stick to it for a while, feel good about myself and then fall off. And then feel terrible about falling off. And then start again.
The frustrating part? I'm a fitness instructor. Movement is literally my job. And I still couldn't make it stick for myself.
It took me a long time to figure out why.
I was doing it for the wrong reasons
Every time I started a new routine, it was because of how I wanted my body to look. Not how I wanted to feel, not what I actually enjoyed, just the goal of changing something about myself.
And when you're doing something purely to fix yourself, it's hard to stay motivated long-term. Because you either reach the goal and stop, or you don't reach it fast enough and give up. Either way, the movement stops.
I've watched this happen to people in classes I've taught. I've watched it happen to myself more times than I can count.
The shift didn't happen overnight
There wasn't a single moment where everything clicked. It was more like a slow, quiet realisation that crept up on me over years of starting and stopping.
I started noticing which bits of movement I actually looked forward to. A long walk where I wasn't tracking anything. A dance class just because it was fun. Boxing sessions, specifically Box2theBeat, that felt more like an experience than a workout.
None of those felt like exercise in the way I'd been taught to think about exercise. They felt like things I just... wanted to do.
What changed when I stopped trying to earn it
When I stopped choosing movement based on what would change my body fastest, and started asking what I actually enjoyed, something shifted.
I stopped dreading it. I stopped "falling off" because there was nothing to fall off of, I was just doing things I liked.
Dance is my main one, it always has been, I just forgot for a while. Walking, step, boxing fill in around it. None of them made the list because of calories. They made the list because I actually want to show up.
That sounds simple, but it genuinely took me years to get there.
This isn't about going easy on yourself
I want to be clear, this isn't an argument against working hard or having goals. If you love lifting heavy or training for a race, that's brilliant.
This is about the difference between moving your body because you hate it, and moving it because you actually want to. One of those is sustainable. The other one isn't. I have years of personal evidence for that.
What I'd say to anyone in that cycle
If you keep starting and stopping, it might not be a willpower problem. It might just be that you're doing something you don't enjoy, for reasons that don't feel good.
Try something different. Something that feels more like fun than punishment. A walk, a dance class, something with a beat that makes the time go faster.
You don't have to love every session. But if you dread all of them, that's worth paying attention to.